Mylifeisaverage.com

new favorite website: www.mylifeisaverage.com

i sat at my computer reading these for over an hour, laughing to myself. i know, i need a life...here are some of my favorites (:

Today I tried number 153 of 333 ways to be kicked out of Wal-Mart. It said to scream in pain until someone comes along and asks what's wrong then act as if nothing happened. I live where there are no wal-marts so I went to Woolworth's and tried it. As my head was in my hands and I was screaming someone came up behind me and said 'This isn't wal-mart.' Patted my shoulder and walked away. Touche. MLIA

Today I was at work when "Circle of Life" from the Lion King. I started to dramaticly sing along when a woman with her baby came in. She looked at me then raised her baby like Simba. Guess who got 50% off her purchase? MLIA

Today during Religious Education at school I told my teacher I didn't believe in God because I prayed for almost a whole year that I would get a bike last Christmas, and did not get a bike. He replied "Silly boy, your doing it wrong. You don't ask for a bike, you steal one then ask for forgiveness." Hello new favourite teacher. MLIA

Today in chemistry we had a lock down. My elderly teacher immediatly began rummaging in a drawer for something. She pulled out 24 hammers and handing one to each of us said, "I don't know about you guys but I'm not going down without a fight." My school feels safer. MLIA

Today, I was called to the main office. They said I had a family emergency and that I was given permission to go home by my mother. When I got home, I called her right away to see what was going on. She told me she forgot to harvest her strawberries on Farmville and she wants me to harvest them before they die. I was too late. MLIA.

Today, my English teacher told us we had to write an essay on what we wanted to be when we were little. Most of the girls wrote Princesses,and most of the boys wrote race-car drivers. I was looking through my diary when I was 6...apparently I wanted to marry Big Bird, raise an army of mutant gummy worms, and take over Candyland. I got 100% and a Pokèmon sticker. MLIA

Today, I went chainsaw shopping with my dad. We were looking at electric ones, but my dad complained about how he can't go on a murderous rampage while attached to a wall. The looks on the surrounding customers made my day. I love my dad. MLIA

Today, I bought a fancy new black SUV Hummer. When I went to pick up my son from school, I put on a black suit, dark shades, and my blue-tooth earpiece. I waltzed into his last period class 10 minutes before it was over, and announced "Agent 03, It's time to go" At which point he nodded and packed his belongings and ran out. The face on his teacher was priceless. I hope my boss understands why I had to miss work. MLIA.

these made me laugh. (: i love how easily amused i am