Countdown

18 hours until I will be DONE with finals

21 hours until the weekend

2 days until the food drop

63 days until my birthday

86 days until spring break

141 days until summer

247 days until I get my license

Refocus

This Chirstmas Break has been a lot of fun! I've got to spend a lot of time with my family and God and some time with my friends. I've got to stay up and sleep in (yep, i'm a total night owl). I wore sweats almost every day, I watched an unhealthy amount of movies, and I didn't do any of my school work that is due Monday. I also spent a lot of time with myself, alone, in the quiet, left with nothing but my mind (sometimes that gets scary because I don't understand how I begin to think of the things I think about. For example, the other day I was thinking about how I would go about robbing a bank. Don't worry, I'm not going to, but I think I could do a whole lot better job then some of the bank robbers we've got runnin around today. Justtt sayin). Anyways, over break, I've taken the time to refocus. It's so easy for me to go through a whole semester of school and forget why I'm here. I get so caught up in my school work, grades, friends, activities, and even church, that its often hard for me step back and spend time alone with God. So, I really made a point this break to take time to bring my focus back to what really matters.

I've focused more on spending time with my family. And realizing how important and sacred that time spent together can be. And not to mention a lot of fun!!

I've focused on being ME. Not the person I am when I'm around a lot of people, not the person I wish I was, not the person I think I am, but who I am. I find myself getting lost in personalities that aren't really me and getting caught up in other people's opinions of me that really don't matter. It was nice to remind myself of who I am right now, so I can start moving forward to become who God wants me to be.

I've took the time to refocus and fix my eyes on the King of kings, the Lord of lords, the Prince of peace, the One who satisfies all of my needs, wants, and desires. He truely is all I need. He is more than enough for me.

I was able to focus on things that really matter without all the stress and craziness that comes along with school. I think I'm ready to tackle the second half of this school year.
98 more school days until summer. Ice gots dissss.

2011

Happy New Year to all 3 of you who will actually read this!
It's 2011 now and I am really looking forward to this year! I'm excited to see what all God has in store for me this year! Here's some things i'm looking forward to this year--

-my 16th birthday

-taking the SAT (okay, so i'm not really looking forward to this...but it's something big that's happening)

-spring break in Florida with my family, Jordan, the Usenicks, Celia, Kelly, some of my cousins, and old friends.

-finishing up my sophomore year of high school

-sweeeeet summa timeeee

-getting my liscense!!

-starting my junior year

-Christmas! (yeah, i look forward to it a year in advance)


this year is gonna be a gooooood year(:

Looking Back - 2010

Looking back on this past year, it was a really fun, challenging, crazy, busy, and awesome year!!! I grew a lot closer to many of my friends and i formed many new friendships, i experienced new things, i was challenged in ways i never thought i would be, and God revealed himself to me in ways i never knew were possible. Here were some of my highlights from this past year--

I survived my first (and only) year of Penn Choir. (yes, that was a BIG accomplishment and it is noteworthy)

I was able to invite one of my best friends, Jordan, to go on spring break with my family and I.


I went parasailing for the first time and it was sooo much fun!!!

I went on the Breathe retreat with some of my closest friends. It gave me a chance to spend a lot of time alone with God and it really helped me in my spiritual walk.

I was a counselor for the first time at Camp Adventure and I had the most amazing group everrrr!!! I love every one of them and it was one of the best weeks of my life!!

I went on my first mission trip to Chicago with an AMAZING team! I had SO much fun and I gained a lot of really close relationships.

EMILY CAN DRIIIIIIIVE!!! (yeah, its exciting)

I went to the beach a lotttt! And I got to spend a lottt of time with Emily and Olivia this summer!

I got to see my friends off to Nashville on their mission trip!

And although I didnt go, I wasnt forgotten (:


I was a bridesmaid in my cousins wedding


the CHOCOLATE obsession began...


we had the first official randomness party!!! and we made a new friend, (pictured above) SK!

we were robbers for halloweeeeeeeeeeeen

I was a leader at Renewal and had an AWESOME group of girls!!

Piper Noel was welcomed into the Jacquay family (:

and I continue to be apart of the best small group!!!

Gooooooodbyeeeee 2010.

Not any 2 people in the world have EXACTLY the same faith. We may have the same foundation, key points, ect, but somewhere there will be differences. On Friday, I had some of my closest friends at my house and somehow, as it often does, we started having an actual conversation that didnt include boys, gossip, yadda yadda, blah blah. (which, by the way, i rrreally like that my friends and i are first, able to have a conversation like that, and second, that we do have conversations like that). This conversation, i must say, was probably the most intense one we've ever had. and i LOVED it! Some things I took away from the conversation (without going into the depth of what we discussed) are this:
-within my friend group, we have different opinions and views, and that is okay! it's awesome actually!!
-i learn A LOT from my friends
-we all are VERY opinionated, which makes for a very interesting conversation
-we are all VERY stubborn and thick-headed, which also makes for a very interesting conversation
-even with that, we were able to listen to each other and learn from each other.
-i'm so thankful that my friends and i can talk like this, knowing we mean nothing personally
-i love it that we can have conversation that is actually meaningful and worthwhile
-and for all of this to happen, we didnt need to be lead and we didnt need to be in any special enviornment

basically, i'm really glad that what happened on Friday night, happened. I was strethched, I grew, I was challenged, I learned, and I think my other friends can say the same

I Can't Believe I Am Actually Saying This...

Thanksgiving is like 1 day away and generally on Thanksgiving, people think about and share what they are thankful for. (even though I think that should be more of a daily thing...buuuut yeah) so since Thanksgiving is coming up, I've been thinking a lot about what I'm thankful for. and not just the obvious things like my family, friends, bed, food, ect, but the more "out there" things, I guess you could say. one of the things that really surprised me that it would even cross my mind is the discipline I get from my parents. yepp, i said it. I'm thankful for my parents discipline. I NEVER thought I would say that. because seriously, after you get in trouble or grounded your thoughts are not 'oh, thank you parents, for being such great parents and disciplining me.' yeeeeah, no. most of the time they are more along the lines of 'that is so unfair!' that's usually what I think at least. but as I've been thinking about it more, I realized that I really am thankful for it! our parents were put I our lives to be an example for us and to lead and teach us and by disciplining, that is exactly what they are doing. thinking back, every time I've for any kind of discipline, it was because I was doing something that my parents didn't agree with and they wanted to teach me wrong from right. the discipline and punishments that I've received have helped me grow and they have shaped me into who I am today. without it, I would have a much smaller sense of knowing right from wrong, i probably wouldn't be able to grasp the concept of having consequences for my actions as well as I do now, and I really think that it has strengthened my relationship with my parents. they want what's best for me and I'm REALLY thankful for that. they are looking out for me. they love me and I know it! (yeah, have ya ever heard that the punishment is coming out of love? welllllll, it's kiiiinda really true). I still can't believe I am actually saying this. I bet my parents never expected me to ever admit to it either. hahaha well, I did.


to my lovely parents: First, I love you guys a ton!! and second, I know I don't say this enough but THANK YOU. thank you for everything you do for me. thank you for the sacrifices you've had to make because of me. thank you for always being there for me. thank you for looking out for what's best for me. thank you, thank you, thank you!!! love you! (:

The Nameless Post About Control and How Our God Is Not That.

long story short, I was looking for stuff in the Bible about a question I had and it brought me to another question which, when answered, brought me to this: God isn't controlling. He doesn't want to be controlling and I really dontthink he even wants to be in total control!
the question I first had was why God wouldve let Satan become evil and be who he is. (which leads me to a whole other boat load of questions but anywhooo). then as I was reading and praying and thinking, I realized that God isn't controlling. he gave Satan the choice. he gave Adam an Eve a choice. he gives you a choice. he gives me a choice. we have the power to chose!! God isn't forcing us to do this or do that. of course he WANTS us to do this or do that, but he doesn't MAKE us. he LEADS us. he doesn't control us.
I think that we can learn from that. what I take out of that is this: God leads by example. he shows us which path is better, but when the time comes, we are ultimately the one who has to chose. same goes for us as christians. we can lead by example and we can tell people what we believe is right and wrong, but it's ultimately their choice. we cannot control them. god has granted us with the gift of free will. he doesn't control us, and we cannot directly control each other. BUT we CAN lead by example.
our God is not a controlling god, and I am thankful for that. if he were to try to control us, I think a lot of people would rebel even more against him, just like we tend to do when people try to control us. God really does know what he's doing.



side note: this is basically a few of my thoughts all jumbled up and turned into a blog post that I'm typing when I'm really quite tired and confused so if it doesn't make sense, I apologize. and if it does, yay! I think I'm going to go to bed now. the end.

Halloweeeeeeeeen

so there's a few years missing...but i promise you, i have dressed up every year of my life. 16 halloweens. and i plan to keep dressing up and trick-or-treating until i am no longer allowed to (which may possibly be next year because i was informed monday that there is a law being passed about not being able to trick-or-treat unless you are 12 or under. that seriously ruined my day. i'm not even kidding you the slightest bit) dressing up in outfits you can't wear any other day of the year without getting weird looks, seeing other creative costumes, and FREE CANDY! yeah, halloween has been good to me these past 16 years...