The Nameless Post About Control and How Our God Is Not That.

long story short, I was looking for stuff in the Bible about a question I had and it brought me to another question which, when answered, brought me to this: God isn't controlling. He doesn't want to be controlling and I really dontthink he even wants to be in total control!
the question I first had was why God wouldve let Satan become evil and be who he is. (which leads me to a whole other boat load of questions but anywhooo). then as I was reading and praying and thinking, I realized that God isn't controlling. he gave Satan the choice. he gave Adam an Eve a choice. he gives you a choice. he gives me a choice. we have the power to chose!! God isn't forcing us to do this or do that. of course he WANTS us to do this or do that, but he doesn't MAKE us. he LEADS us. he doesn't control us.
I think that we can learn from that. what I take out of that is this: God leads by example. he shows us which path is better, but when the time comes, we are ultimately the one who has to chose. same goes for us as christians. we can lead by example and we can tell people what we believe is right and wrong, but it's ultimately their choice. we cannot control them. god has granted us with the gift of free will. he doesn't control us, and we cannot directly control each other. BUT we CAN lead by example.
our God is not a controlling god, and I am thankful for that. if he were to try to control us, I think a lot of people would rebel even more against him, just like we tend to do when people try to control us. God really does know what he's doing.



side note: this is basically a few of my thoughts all jumbled up and turned into a blog post that I'm typing when I'm really quite tired and confused so if it doesn't make sense, I apologize. and if it does, yay! I think I'm going to go to bed now. the end.

Halloweeeeeeeeen

so there's a few years missing...but i promise you, i have dressed up every year of my life. 16 halloweens. and i plan to keep dressing up and trick-or-treating until i am no longer allowed to (which may possibly be next year because i was informed monday that there is a law being passed about not being able to trick-or-treat unless you are 12 or under. that seriously ruined my day. i'm not even kidding you the slightest bit) dressing up in outfits you can't wear any other day of the year without getting weird looks, seeing other creative costumes, and FREE CANDY! yeah, halloween has been good to me these past 16 years...

Woah Baaaaaby, Daaaaaats A Lotta People

The current series at GSM, In These Halls, is craaaaaazy awesome!!! God is working through so many students, filling each of our hearts with a different amount and kind of passion, but all striving to work for the same goal. Tonight in the group I was in, we were talking about the prayer circle thing we do everyday before school. I started going to it in the middle of the second semester last year and I've been doing it all year this year. And hollllly batman. God is seriously doing great things through it. it started as a small little group, before I even joined, and last year there was only about 15 people. This year, it varies each day, but we've had probably around 30-40 people gathered in the commons before school. (now I'm reeeeally bad at estimating things like that so don't hold me accountable to that number, but just know that it's grown a lotttt.) and it's totally God working through it all. And it keeps growing. new people show up daily. it's awesome!! tonight in the group I was in during GSM, we started talking about what if there were so many people praying with us that we took up the whole commons and we literally needed megaphone so everyone could hear and people would have t walk through the circle to get to the other side. what I'd it got so big that we couldn't even do it in the commons anymore? we just had an all school assembly on thursday and the whole gym was literally filled from top to bottom. what if there were that many people every morning willing to pray for our school and to live out and live in Christ's love? it's totally possible with God. my mind was blowwwwn when we started talking like that. because it totally could happen. God is that powerful.

This series at GSM is creating some pretty crazy and awesome thoughts and ideas. Those thoughts and ideas are turning into words being discussed at GSM and those words are becoming actions. our actions are what will have the biggest impact. Jesus is comin to Penn and many other schools around here and I am pummmmped!

Summer Reading

2 books, (one very, very, VERY, unbelievably boring, the other pretty good)

7 papers (four for one book, three for the other. quotes and all)

1 art thingy (i didnt really understand why i was doing an art project type thing for english..but hey it was the easiest part of the whole thing, and the most fun)

and a whole summer later...

I AM DONE WITH SUMMER READING!!!!!!!!!!!!

just in time to go back to school and get a whhhhole buttload of homework (: YAY.

note to self: never, EVER, again wait until the last 3 weeks of summer to begin summer reading.

CAMP ADVENTURE!

(yes, i realize this post is like 2 months late, but ya know what? this is my blog, meaning i write my posts whenever i feel like it. and now is when i feel like it (: )

CAMP ADVENTURE 2010 WAS THE BEST WEEK OF CAMP EVVVVVVERRRRRR!!!!!!!

I was finally a couselor and in a cabin with one of my best friends!


I had the best co-co everrrr!


I had the most amazing group of campers!!


I got to spend the week with some of my best friends




I was apart of an amazing group!


and my faith and relationship with God was stretched and strengthened so, so much.
I learned that I have limitations. I found those limitations and had to rely ENTIRELY on God for patience, energy, wisdom, and strength. I had to give everything to God because I didn't know what else to do. I learned from DC, Johnny, and Mark. I learned from my co-co, Jordan. I learned from my cabin mate, Jordan. I learned from my campers. I learned from other counselors. I learned from God. I was called out of my comfort zone. I had to be a leader, but I learned that I wasn't alone; God was with me the whole week, leading me to lead. I was able to let go of things from the past. I was able to get rid of some distractions. I saw my campers grow closer to Christ. I was making a difference in the Kingdom of God. I was able to rekindle my passion for Christ and help pour fuel onto others' fire.
It was the most amazing week of camp everrrrrrr!!! seriously. i'm not even kidding. it was awesome. just kidding, awesome can't even begin to descibe it. so every word better then awesome plus awesome put together times 58695224 thousand is what camp was. yeah. it was that good.

Stars

He also made the stars. God set them in the expanse of the sky to give light on the earth. -Genesis 1:16-17

Have you ever thought that maybe we are the stars? Yeah, I know that God literally made the stars along with the sun and moon on the fourth day, but metephorically, what if we were the stars talked about in Genesis 1:16 and 17? God placed the stars in darkness to shine light. God has placed us here on earth, maybe in the middle of darkness, to shine His light.

As God's stars, we must shine BRIGHT!

Love yourself.

Make peace with who you are

and where you are at this moment in time.

Listen to your heart.
Make time for youself.

Enjoy your own company.

Let your mind wander among the stars.

Try. Take chances. Make mistakes.
Life can be messy and confusing at times,

but it's also full of suprises.
The next rock in your path might be a stepping stone.

Be happy.

When you don't have what you want, want what you have.

There aren't any shortcuts to tomorrow.

You have to make your own way.
To know where your going is only part of it.

You need to know where you've been too.
And if you ever get lost, dont worry.

The people who love you will find you.

Life isn't days and years,

it's what you do with time

and with all the goodness and grace that's inside of you.
Make a beautiful life.

From a birthday card I got a couple of years ago from my dad (:

hats!

As i was looking through some of my pictures, i noticed that my friends and i like to find odd looking hats, put them on, and then take pictures of ourselves in the hats.






or giraffe masks..











and i've now also realized that all of these pictures are with jordan or olivia. hahahaha and that is why they are my best friends (: